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alfheimrI hope that you have an awesome day, you totally deserve it. You are the best friend anyone could ever have and I love you bunches and bunches!
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The life and times of a fat dancer
Turns out that boys (and girls!) do make passes at girls with fat asses!
07 October 2009 @ 11:12 pm
alfheimrI hope that you have an awesome day, you totally deserve it. You are the best friend anyone could ever have and I love you bunches and bunches!
30 September 2009 @ 04:39 pm
The new Body Positive Newsletter is up at http://budurl.com/bpn930
This week we are highlighting Golda Poretsky, a Health at Every Size Wellness Coach, and some really awesome body positive things that have been in the news lately.
Don't forget to appreciate your awesome body today!
This week we are highlighting Golda Poretsky, a Health at Every Size Wellness Coach, and some really awesome body positive things that have been in the news lately.
Don't forget to appreciate your awesome body today!
25 September 2009 @ 12:44 am
This week's newsletter features Lesley and the Fatsionista LJ community!
If you are interested in checking out the newsletter just click here!
If you are interested in checking out the newsletter just click here!
11 September 2009 @ 11:42 pm
At long last the first Body Positive Newsletter is finished! To view it just go to www.budurl.com/bpn909
Check it out! Join the mailing list! Tell your friends!
Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I think I may have set a record for number of exclamation points used relative to the number of other characters in a post, please excuse - or join in on - my exuberance)
!
Check it out! Join the mailing list! Tell your friends!
Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I think I may have set a record for number of exclamation points used relative to the number of other characters in a post, please excuse - or join in on - my exuberance)
!
25 August 2009 @ 01:25 am
I had a dance lesson today during which I got my new waltz choreography. This is significant because I don't really like waltz and for the first four years of my dance career I had a waltz that I hated. Then last year Rowdy choreographed a new waltz for my then-partner and me that I really loved. I was finally getting into waltz, enjoying dancing it and feeling good about it.
My partner and I broke up and now Rowdy is learning all of my routines except the waltz - I get the same waltz that everyone else has. And I hate it. The choreography is difficult to do but not interesting to watch (which typically means that the judges don't give you any credit for doing it and it scores really low). I find the routine boring and it doesn't show any of my strengths because it was choreographed for people who can't do what I can do.
I'm thinking that I'll just get a long black dress with no embellishments and hope nobody notices me when I'm dancing. And that's sad, because I always want people to notice me when I'm dancing. I've asked him repeatedly and he said that The only solution that I can think of is to dance Waltz with another instructor. That is tricky on a couple of fronts. First, it will royally piss Rowdy off but that won't be a first for us. Second, it means that instructor will HAVE to be at the same competitions as Rowdy or I won't be able to compete for the all around since waltz is required and that could be a scheduling nightmare.
I'm going to have to bring this up to him again and he's probably going to be pissed but thinking about doing this waltz just makes me feel miserable and I 'm not paying this much money to be miserable.
My partner and I broke up and now Rowdy is learning all of my routines except the waltz - I get the same waltz that everyone else has. And I hate it. The choreography is difficult to do but not interesting to watch (which typically means that the judges don't give you any credit for doing it and it scores really low). I find the routine boring and it doesn't show any of my strengths because it was choreographed for people who can't do what I can do.
I'm thinking that I'll just get a long black dress with no embellishments and hope nobody notices me when I'm dancing. And that's sad, because I always want people to notice me when I'm dancing. I've asked him repeatedly and he said that The only solution that I can think of is to dance Waltz with another instructor. That is tricky on a couple of fronts. First, it will royally piss Rowdy off but that won't be a first for us. Second, it means that instructor will HAVE to be at the same competitions as Rowdy or I won't be able to compete for the all around since waltz is required and that could be a scheduling nightmare.
I'm going to have to bring this up to him again and he's probably going to be pissed but thinking about doing this waltz just makes me feel miserable and I 'm not paying this much money to be miserable.
29 July 2009 @ 10:40 am
Buffy Sing-a-long is happening September 19th in Houston. Anybody want to road trip?
http://www.swamp.org/buffy
http://www.swamp.org/buffy
27 July 2009 @ 12:57 am
Finished doing the postcard labeling part of my client project around 7 today. Tomorrow I buy stamps and finish the project - awww, I guess I'll have to sit and watch more movies :) Wanted to go see the new Harry Potter but couldn't find anyone to go with (pout). Instead I was uber-productive. I went grocery shopping, cleaned the house, did my laundry, made a sheppard's pie from scratch (including from scratch mashed potatoes). Upside - super yummy casserole goodness. Downside - my house smells very strongly of garlic.
I also started on a tax project that I am working on for a client.
This was a generally and specifically awesome weekend. I feel mighty!!!!!
I also started on a tax project that I am working on for a client.
This was a generally and specifically awesome weekend. I feel mighty!!!!!
26 July 2009 @ 03:35 pm
One of my clients has a last minute postcard labeling and stamping job that he asked me to do. That means that I have an excuse for sitting around and watching movies. Woo Hoo.
Think I'll start with Stage Beauty and see where it goes from there.
Think I'll start with Stage Beauty and see where it goes from there.
13 June 2009 @ 01:56 am
Just crazy right now! I have had to shut down one of my two businesses because of a policy change, change the business model of my second business, have broken up with my boyfriend, am moving and my dance company has had two awesome performances.
The biggest thing I'm working on right now if filling my June 30th Renegade Organizer Workshops. The details are below, if you are in Austin (or want to come here on the 30th!) and you're interested, let me know and I'll give you a special "reads my LJ" discount :)
Renegade Organizer Workshops:
The biggest thing I'm working on right now if filling my June 30th Renegade Organizer Workshops. The details are below, if you are in Austin (or want to come here on the 30th!) and you're interested, let me know and I'll give you a special "reads my LJ" discount :)
Renegade Organizer Workshops:
Are you ready to shatter the myths that are keeping you stuck in a constant state of clutter, disorganization, and frustration?
Then these workshops might be for you. Renegade Organizing is a simple, realistic system that teaches you to create organization in every aspect of your life based on your own personality and work-style.
The details:
June 30, 2009
10401 Anderson Mill Road, Suite 109C
Austin, TX 78750
12:15-1:45 Easy Paper Management
Learn the basic principals of Renegade Organization and leave with a plan to get your paper under control for good based on your own personality and work-style.
2:00-3:30 Simple Systems for a Complicated World
Build on what you learned in Easy Paper Management and learn The Golden System, a step by step process to get control of all of the administrivia in your life that is currently taking up way too much of your time. Leave with a plan to implement these simple, powerful systems in every area of your business and life.
The seating at this is limited so you'll probably want to pre-register: They are really reasonable, $59.00 for each workshop, $99.00 if you sign up for both.
To learn more, check out www.RenegadeOrganizer.com
10 May 2009 @ 09:27 pm
I'm cleaning out my closet. I've got clothes from 22-28, bras from 44B to 44D, and shoes in 8 Wide. You can see pictures here
Discounts for multiple items, prices are negotiable. I am willing to mail the items to you if you prefer. Happy shopping :)
You can see photos here: http://www.budurl.com/clothesforsale
( List of clothes with descriptions here! )
Discounts for multiple items, prices are negotiable. I am willing to mail the items to you if you prefer. Happy shopping :)
You can see photos here: http://www.budurl.com/clothesforsale
( List of clothes with descriptions here! )
29 April 2009 @ 11:02 pm
As a 5'4 280 pound fatty, I think that airlines are completely justified in charging double for people who take up more than one seat. Hear me out...
The airline is selling space - the amount of space is one seat. Space is at a premium on an aircraft and the carriers have created a price for that amount of space. I do not see this as discrimination at all, to me it's very much like the Postal Services flat fee priority mail. You can mail as much as you can fit in that container for a flat fee, but if your stuff doesn't fit in that container, then you have to pay extra. You wouldn't say that the postal service is discriminating against people who had larger objects to mail and that they should pay the same price to mail a larger item. Thin people feel entitled to complain about overcrowding because they paid for one seat, just as the fat person beside them did, but they are not getting what they paid for because the person next to them is taking up more than that for which they paid. You are paying the airline not just for passage from one destination to another, but also for the amount of space on the plain. (As evidenced by the price difference between first class and coach, as well as the optional upgrades to larger seats in coach that some airlines offer.)
What I would like to see is the policy applied equally across the board - anyone who takes up more than one seat needs to pay for two. I happen to fit easily in one airline seat (sheer luck, my fat goes out in front of me and not out to the sides). The last flight I was on, I fit into the seat just fine, but the tall, thin gentleman beside me had very broad shoulders and he encroached upon my space. I feel that he should be charged double - he takes up more than what he paid for.
I also believe, from a political standpoint, that if those who are against these policies pushed for them to be applied across the board in this way - rather than trying to make the argument that we deserve more space for the same amount of money (which inevitably finds us mired in pointless, useless arguments about whether or not we can/should "do something" about our size) - they would get much farther much faster.
The airline is selling space - the amount of space is one seat. Space is at a premium on an aircraft and the carriers have created a price for that amount of space. I do not see this as discrimination at all, to me it's very much like the Postal Services flat fee priority mail. You can mail as much as you can fit in that container for a flat fee, but if your stuff doesn't fit in that container, then you have to pay extra. You wouldn't say that the postal service is discriminating against people who had larger objects to mail and that they should pay the same price to mail a larger item. Thin people feel entitled to complain about overcrowding because they paid for one seat, just as the fat person beside them did, but they are not getting what they paid for because the person next to them is taking up more than that for which they paid. You are paying the airline not just for passage from one destination to another, but also for the amount of space on the plain. (As evidenced by the price difference between first class and coach, as well as the optional upgrades to larger seats in coach that some airlines offer.)
What I would like to see is the policy applied equally across the board - anyone who takes up more than one seat needs to pay for two. I happen to fit easily in one airline seat (sheer luck, my fat goes out in front of me and not out to the sides). The last flight I was on, I fit into the seat just fine, but the tall, thin gentleman beside me had very broad shoulders and he encroached upon my space. I feel that he should be charged double - he takes up more than what he paid for.
I also believe, from a political standpoint, that if those who are against these policies pushed for them to be applied across the board in this way - rather than trying to make the argument that we deserve more space for the same amount of money (which inevitably finds us mired in pointless, useless arguments about whether or not we can/should "do something" about our size) - they would get much farther much faster.
29 April 2009 @ 06:42 pm
I have a friend from networking named Matt whose company, Competition Unlimited, puts on gaming events for adults. He is putting on Texas' first ever Beer Pong Tournament in Austin tomorrow. It's the first one that he has done and he has several business connections coming so he wants to make sure that it is well attended.
In order to help him I told him that I let my friends know and in order to say thanks, each of my friends who registers to compete will receive a free drink (just tell him that Ragen - pronounced like the former President for those of you who have only ever seen it in print) sent you). Alas, I am otherwise engaged and will not be there, but will send good beer pong vibes your way and you can all drink one for me. (Feel free to invite your friends and give them the secret free drink code, I'm always happy to look more popular and he doesn't mind buying drinks for as many of my friends who want to play!)
The winner of this event can choose a cash prize or entry in the World Series of Beer Pong in Las Vegas, which includes 4 nights at the Flamingo.
The event will be at 6pm tomorrow night at G-Cue Billiards at 300 Hester's Crossing. It's only $40.00 per team to register.
The bonus is that Matt is a big gamer (we had a lengthy discussion about Settler's strategy, as well as the more than 120 strategy games that he owns). He also runs poker tournaments all over the city (and has run them in Vegas), used to run the Austin Midnight Madness scavenger hunt, and is a generally really cool guy to know.
Go, have fun, drink, network, and let me live vicariously through you.
19 April 2009 @ 12:30 am
Hi Lj Peeps!
As I've mentioned, I started a new non-profit called the Body Positive Dance Company. We are a professional dance ensemble who prove that dancers come in all shapes and sizes. Our goal is to provide people of all sizes with the opportunity to have fun moving their bodies in completely body positive environments, as well as to advance the principles of Health at Every Size. We do this through performances (you can check us out in our first ever performance here!) Dance classes which we teach every Saturday, and community workshops.
Obviously this is something I really believe in and we need some help to get rolling. The start-up costs for getting incorporated, getting 501(c)(3) status, rehearsal space etc. are going to be about $2,500.00. Eventually we'll get some corporate sponsorships, but in these beginning stages we're hoping that individuals who are believe in what we are doing will help us out. That's where you come in. If you are interested in helping, just Click Here! and enter the amount you would like to donate. Every little bit helps! For more information about the team or the classes, just go to www.danceswithfat.org.
If you wanted to re-post this that would be awesome.
Thanks a ton!
As I've mentioned, I started a new non-profit called the Body Positive Dance Company. We are a professional dance ensemble who prove that dancers come in all shapes and sizes. Our goal is to provide people of all sizes with the opportunity to have fun moving their bodies in completely body positive environments, as well as to advance the principles of Health at Every Size. We do this through performances (you can check us out in our first ever performance here!) Dance classes which we teach every Saturday, and community workshops.
Obviously this is something I really believe in and we need some help to get rolling. The start-up costs for getting incorporated, getting 501(c)(3) status, rehearsal space etc. are going to be about $2,500.00. Eventually we'll get some corporate sponsorships, but in these beginning stages we're hoping that individuals who are believe in what we are doing will help us out. That's where you come in. If you are interested in helping, just Click Here! and enter the amount you would like to donate. Every little bit helps! For more information about the team or the classes, just go to www.danceswithfat.org.
If you wanted to re-post this that would be awesome.
Thanks a ton!
14 April 2009 @ 09:32 am
Susan Boyle from Britain's Got Talent, you are my hero!
Unbelievable and inspiring performance of a song I thought that I was completely sick of. Just amazing.
Unbelievable and inspiring performance of a song I thought that I was completely sick of. Just amazing.
17 March 2009 @ 08:19 pm
My dance team, Body Positive Dance, had our debut performance after only a month of rehearsal. You can check it out here!
Enjoy!!!!
Enjoy!!!!
13 March 2009 @ 09:58 pm
You know how sometimes it can take a while for a dream that you have to come true and sometimes it happens right away?
On December 9, 2008 at 11:25pm, I decided to stop thinking about teaching dance classes for bigger bodies, and having a performance team (which I had been doing for a couple of years) and make a few posts around Live Journal to see if anyone might actually want to take them.
Three months and 4 days later, not only are the classes going strong but it is the night before the performance team's debut. And let me be the first to tell you, they are incredible.
We originally planned to debut on June 7th so we are pushing hard to get the choreography. I gave them difficult choreography - it's fast and intricate, I gave them really tough partner stunts, and they just learned it. I created a precise walk on, bow and walk off sequence, and they just learned it. I got really specific about foot position and hand position, and they just learned it.
After the performance I'll post the video, but for now let me say that when we finished the trick and all six people slammed the floor at the same time during our VERY FIRST full music run through, it was like my whole dream came together right there.
I cannot begin to express my gratitude to the members of the class who come and, through sheer force of will, create a space for us all to love and respect our bodies in a culture where that seems like an impossible feat.
And I know I will never be able to express what it means to be part of a group who are willing to put themselves out there to prove that dancers come in every shape and size.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Join us tomorrow from 8-10pm at the Dancing for Dachshunds fundraiser Watch some dancing (maybe dance a little yourself) and support the Central Texas Dachshund Rescue as they try to find homes for wayward little dogs!
On December 9, 2008 at 11:25pm, I decided to stop thinking about teaching dance classes for bigger bodies, and having a performance team (which I had been doing for a couple of years) and make a few posts around Live Journal to see if anyone might actually want to take them.
Three months and 4 days later, not only are the classes going strong but it is the night before the performance team's debut. And let me be the first to tell you, they are incredible.
We originally planned to debut on June 7th so we are pushing hard to get the choreography. I gave them difficult choreography - it's fast and intricate, I gave them really tough partner stunts, and they just learned it. I created a precise walk on, bow and walk off sequence, and they just learned it. I got really specific about foot position and hand position, and they just learned it.
After the performance I'll post the video, but for now let me say that when we finished the trick and all six people slammed the floor at the same time during our VERY FIRST full music run through, it was like my whole dream came together right there.
I cannot begin to express my gratitude to the members of the class who come and, through sheer force of will, create a space for us all to love and respect our bodies in a culture where that seems like an impossible feat.
And I know I will never be able to express what it means to be part of a group who are willing to put themselves out there to prove that dancers come in every shape and size.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Join us tomorrow from 8-10pm at the Dancing for Dachshunds fundraiser Watch some dancing (maybe dance a little yourself) and support the Central Texas Dachshund Rescue as they try to find homes for wayward little dogs!
05 March 2009 @ 07:42 pm
Last Years Cholesterol Test:
Act 1:
Doctor: Step on the scale.
Me: Why?
Dr: To get your weight
Me: How is that relevant to a cholesterol test?
Dr: If you're overweight that can contribute to high cholesterol.
Me: (laughing hysterically) IF I'm overweight? Doesn't this job require that you have decent eyesight?
Dr: (not amused) Step on the scale.
Me: No thank you.
Dr: Look...
Me: Move on.
Act 2
Dr. Takes blood pressure (116/70)
Dr: Take 3 more times
Me: My blood pressure is typically about 117/70, is there a problem?
Dr: I doubt these results.
Me: You took it 4 times, are you typically incompetent at this?
Dr: Let's move on.
Act 3:
Dr: What drugs are you taking.
Me: None
Dr: You should consider a Statin Drug
Me: Shouldn't we take the test first?
Dr: If you insist
Me: In fact I do
Dr. does blood test
Results: Chol 170 (goal is less than 200), HDL 49 (goal is more than 40), Triglycerides 119 (goal is less than 150)
Me: According to this chart, my results are "Exceptional" even for a thin person, right?
Dr. I doubt these results.
Me: I'm leaving now.
Paid over $200.00 for the experience (I'm self-insured)
This Year's Cholesterol Test
Went to People's Pharmacy in Austin, they are so completely awesome!!!!!!!!
Olivia greeted me pleasantly, did the test.
Results: Chol: 169, HDL 51, Triglycerides 118
Olivia: This is exceptional, you are great!
Me: Thank you so much for being so pleasant and not give me the "Hey, you're fat speech" before you did the test.
Olivia: People have done that?
Me: Yup! Doctors.
Olivia: They must have felt silly when they saw the results.
Me: Nope, they doubted the results.
Olivia: Huh?
Paid $35.00 for the experience.
The morals of the story:
Act 1:
Doctor: Step on the scale.
Me: Why?
Dr: To get your weight
Me: How is that relevant to a cholesterol test?
Dr: If you're overweight that can contribute to high cholesterol.
Me: (laughing hysterically) IF I'm overweight? Doesn't this job require that you have decent eyesight?
Dr: (not amused) Step on the scale.
Me: No thank you.
Dr: Look...
Me: Move on.
Act 2
Dr. Takes blood pressure (116/70)
Dr: Take 3 more times
Me: My blood pressure is typically about 117/70, is there a problem?
Dr: I doubt these results.
Me: You took it 4 times, are you typically incompetent at this?
Dr: Let's move on.
Act 3:
Dr: What drugs are you taking.
Me: None
Dr: You should consider a Statin Drug
Me: Shouldn't we take the test first?
Dr: If you insist
Me: In fact I do
Dr. does blood test
Results: Chol 170 (goal is less than 200), HDL 49 (goal is more than 40), Triglycerides 119 (goal is less than 150)
Me: According to this chart, my results are "Exceptional" even for a thin person, right?
Dr. I doubt these results.
Me: I'm leaving now.
Paid over $200.00 for the experience (I'm self-insured)
This Year's Cholesterol Test
Went to People's Pharmacy in Austin, they are so completely awesome!!!!!!!!
Olivia greeted me pleasantly, did the test.
Results: Chol: 169, HDL 51, Triglycerides 118
Olivia: This is exceptional, you are great!
Me: Thank you so much for being so pleasant and not give me the "Hey, you're fat speech" before you did the test.
Olivia: People have done that?
Me: Yup! Doctors.
Olivia: They must have felt silly when they saw the results.
Me: Nope, they doubted the results.
Olivia: Huh?
Paid $35.00 for the experience.
The morals of the story:
- People's Pharmacy Rocks
- I'm a morbidly obese (DEATH FAT!!!!) very fit professional athlete with a blood panel that is Exceptional!
- I've only been to the doctor 5 times in the last 5 years (for routine physicals) so I guess my fat ass isn't too much of a DRAIN on the healthcare system
- There are probably lots more like me
- Suck it, Fat Police
Current Mood: Exceptional
Current Music: Eminem 'Till I Collapse
26 February 2009 @ 11:19 pm
I recently saw this picture in a magazine and thought OMIGOD they sell fat Barbie, I want to buy a fat Barbie.
( Fat Barbie!!!! )
It turns out it's actually an anti-obesity ad (Oh Noes, DEATHFAT IS COMING FOR YOU!!!!). The tagline of the ad is "Keep obesity away from your children". There is another one with a fat superhero and one with fat pirates.
I think it's a bit irritating but it's mostly just bad advertising. What is the primary take-away? Are parents meant to look at this and think "Oh no, little Johnny could grow up to be a fat pirate!" Or are you not supposed to buy your kids toys that represent people with bigger bodies - oh, wait, these toys don't exist. You can, however, purchase a Barbie Doll whose proportions are actually physically impossible to achieve, that ought to be great for your daughter.
And what do they mean "keep obesity away?" Obesity isn't like a big giant ball of fat that chases after your kids that you swat away. What the crap?
And can we Please PLEASE for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy PUHLEASE be for health instead of against obesity? I'm not a thin woman covered in fat. I am a fat woman and so the war on obesity is a war against me and others who look like me. We haven't had a ton of success in wars against stuff lately, how about we try a push for what we want?
At least this gave me a really cool new LJ Icon.
( Fat Barbie!!!! )
It turns out it's actually an anti-obesity ad (Oh Noes, DEATHFAT IS COMING FOR YOU!!!!). The tagline of the ad is "Keep obesity away from your children". There is another one with a fat superhero and one with fat pirates.
I think it's a bit irritating but it's mostly just bad advertising. What is the primary take-away? Are parents meant to look at this and think "Oh no, little Johnny could grow up to be a fat pirate!" Or are you not supposed to buy your kids toys that represent people with bigger bodies - oh, wait, these toys don't exist. You can, however, purchase a Barbie Doll whose proportions are actually physically impossible to achieve, that ought to be great for your daughter.
And what do they mean "keep obesity away?" Obesity isn't like a big giant ball of fat that chases after your kids that you swat away. What the crap?
And can we Please PLEASE for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy PUHLEASE be for health instead of against obesity? I'm not a thin woman covered in fat. I am a fat woman and so the war on obesity is a war against me and others who look like me. We haven't had a ton of success in wars against stuff lately, how about we try a push for what we want?
At least this gave me a really cool new LJ Icon.
26 February 2009 @ 10:33 pm
Here are some pictures of me dancing, and one of my Kung Fu Panda impression. Doodle away (and thanks!)
( Peektures )
( Peektures )
25 February 2009 @ 04:39 pm
From my point of view, one of the most damaging things about the current slew of weight loss shows, diet books etc. is newly thin people trying on clothes, smiling into the camera and saying "I'm wearing single digits! I finally love myself after all these years!!!!".
If someone chooses their life partner or friends based entirely upon how they look, we call them superficial. So why is it considered ok in our society to make our self-esteem contingent upon how we look?
I take a decent amount of flack for being a body positive fat person. Most recently, someone anonymously e-mailed me from my www.danceswithfat.org website to say "I don't think it's a good thing for you to tell people it's ok to be fat". They said a lot of other really mean-spirited stuff, including calling me a fat bitch, but that was the gist of their argument. I get this e-mail about twice a week (sometimes the writer is more respectful, but usually not).
Here's the thing, I'm not interested in being in the business of telling other people what is or is not ok for their body. There are size 0 women who do not have an eating disorder and are sick of people assuming that they do, or hearing bitter fat women call them "skinny bitches". There are healthy fat people who are sick of the death fat police telling them that if they don't lose weight they are just going to keel over and die, or hearing insecure thin women call them "fat bitches".
What I am trying to show people is that they can love themselves no matter what their size or what they want to do with their body.
If someone chooses to lose weight, or gain weight, I fully support them (because, hey, it's their decision and I want my decisions about my body and weight to be respected and supported). I just think it's unfortunate that they should make their self-esteem contingent upon that happening.
What about choosing to love yourself and appreciate your body for what it CAN do, and coming to your weight loss journey from that place instead of "I hope I finally stop hating myself after I lose 50lbs"? What if you lose 50lbs and it doesn't reverse your self-esteem instantly? What if you do lose the weight and suddenly "love yourself", but then something happens and you gain it back?
You might be able to afford to be completely superficial when choosing your dates, life partner, and your friends, but I think you will find that the price for superficial self-esteem is just too high.
If someone chooses their life partner or friends based entirely upon how they look, we call them superficial. So why is it considered ok in our society to make our self-esteem contingent upon how we look?
I take a decent amount of flack for being a body positive fat person. Most recently, someone anonymously e-mailed me from my www.danceswithfat.org website to say "I don't think it's a good thing for you to tell people it's ok to be fat". They said a lot of other really mean-spirited stuff, including calling me a fat bitch, but that was the gist of their argument. I get this e-mail about twice a week (sometimes the writer is more respectful, but usually not).
Here's the thing, I'm not interested in being in the business of telling other people what is or is not ok for their body. There are size 0 women who do not have an eating disorder and are sick of people assuming that they do, or hearing bitter fat women call them "skinny bitches". There are healthy fat people who are sick of the death fat police telling them that if they don't lose weight they are just going to keel over and die, or hearing insecure thin women call them "fat bitches".
What I am trying to show people is that they can love themselves no matter what their size or what they want to do with their body.
If someone chooses to lose weight, or gain weight, I fully support them (because, hey, it's their decision and I want my decisions about my body and weight to be respected and supported). I just think it's unfortunate that they should make their self-esteem contingent upon that happening.
What about choosing to love yourself and appreciate your body for what it CAN do, and coming to your weight loss journey from that place instead of "I hope I finally stop hating myself after I lose 50lbs"? What if you lose 50lbs and it doesn't reverse your self-esteem instantly? What if you do lose the weight and suddenly "love yourself", but then something happens and you gain it back?
You might be able to afford to be completely superficial when choosing your dates, life partner, and your friends, but I think you will find that the price for superficial self-esteem is just too high.